Importance of knowing how to listen

for a good communication we must know how to listen, which begins by having the will or real intention to do so. It is a question, not of waiting for the other to finish speaking to give our point of view, but of concentrating on what we are told. wants to transmit, connect with that version of reality that it proposes to us, because there are many ways of understanding the same made.

However, the issuer also has a fundamental role in relation to the ways in which it is expressed, to facilitate or hinder its understanding. For a full listening we must consider how the words are enunciated, the tone of voice and the feelings or emotions that accompany and color that speech, for example: indifference, fear, regret, love, anger, irritation, apathy. This can be captured through gestures, body attitudes and facial expressions, which accompany the language.

There are people who are more skilled at listening, but with practice this ability can be improved significantly, if it is something that interferes with our social development or we are not satisfied with ourselves in this spot.

Effects during an argument

When we have not been able to listen before or that has not avoided our discomfort/annoyance, what we understand as an argument, conflict or fight takes place. In the middle of a dispute it is perhaps the most difficult moment to attend to what they tell us, but it is also extremely enriching to resolve disagreements and reach an agreement.

Some axes to consider are: not interrupting, not reacting impulsively, withholding the answer until the other person finishes speaking, realizing time to process the information received, not taking things for granted - and, consequently, ask to clarify, when it is our time to talk-.

It is crucial to always listen with respect, patience, attention, valuing the point of view of others, trying to understand and empathize, even if we think differently.

listen to children

To accompany a healthy and happy development of our children, just as we listen to the pediatrician and other professionals who guide us in parenting, it is necessary to listen to the little ones, who are the protagonists of their own story, in the ways in which they can express themselves, according to their age.

To develop good self-esteem it is important to feel appreciated and valued, taken into consideration. Through attentive listening, children understand and experience that their vision of the world is precious.

What do we hear? Their needs, interests, abilities, moods. As? When they are little, through attitudes and body gestures, babbling, attentive gaze, physical discomfort, crying or expressions of joy. Then, as they grow and acquire language, we can also listen to their words and accommodate their discomfort or share their joy.

Putting into words what they cannot help them process their feelings and emotions, tolerate frustration, accept limits -although it is also healthy to reveal oneself, especially at certain ages, being a sign of autonomy- and process anxieties. For example: “you like to play with the ball”, “you are sad because we have to go home”, “you wanted to play with such an object, but You can't because it's dangerous and you got angry when we said no. Shall we look together for something else that can be done? play?".

Knowing how to listen in Psychology

Professional listening is distinguished by being based on knowledge of science and not common sense. It is learned in universities and requires an enabling title. It is listened to with a determined theoretical framework -Ex: Cognitivism, Psychoanalysis, Systemic Therapies-; It is never a neutral listening, it is listened from a certain place, an ethical and conceptual position.

Knowing how to listen, knowing the axes to take into account for it, is one of the pillars to carry out the role of the psychologist accordingly.

From Psychoanalysis, there must be room for the deployment of the word of the person who consults, afflicted by discomfort. While listening, one's own judgment is suspended and ideas are not ranked; For this, we speak of the "floating attention" of the analyst -and the free association of the patient-. Then everything will start to acquire this or that meaning for the subject, spinning into a unique plot.

The psychologist listens not to give answers or indications, since the only one who should decide about his life is the subject himself, but to give him back his own words, discovering things you didn't know you knew, opening new paths to be a little freer and more masters of your own existence. You can also refer to other professionals -eg: occupational therapist, psychiatrist, psychologist specializing in a certain subject- if necessary.

The psychologist is his own work tool, so his training continuous, professional ethics and commitment to his work are key to good listening. The supervision case report is another extremely useful tool.

Everything the patient tells is protected by professional secrecy, except when there is a certain and imminent risk for himself or for third parties, it is intended to avoid a crime or the psychologist needs to defend himself against a complaint made by the patient.

Images: B.B., Kpdmedia